she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
