If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
