Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
