porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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