16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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