why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
