best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
i think my cat just said my name.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
