Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
