How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
