Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
