I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
