Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
