Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize