There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize