Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
