Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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