Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
operation have a gay friend backfired
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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