drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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