you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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