Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
