im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize