I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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