why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
