Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
