I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
