i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
