Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
