I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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