No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
