i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
