Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
