You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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