I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
