my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
