So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
