I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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