This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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