We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
