no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
