i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
