If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
