I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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