i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
