Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
