i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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