Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Are we still banned from the library?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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