Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize