Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
