I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
