he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize