Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
