On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
