I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
