There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
