She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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