It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I need water and some morals
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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