i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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