I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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