I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
