i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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