As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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