does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
