ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
