last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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