btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
This is my gift to your gina
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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