ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I came so hard my ears popped.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
