great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
