I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
