just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
